No More Anxiety: the Tips and Tricks I Used to Eliminate my Anxiety Almost Entirely
by Bear Elle
So it was brought to my attention that I recently wrote a post that was all about my getting over my anxiety and how great it is, but I never really went into how. I'm not looking to be one of those vapid bloggers who gives you a dream and no answers, quite the opposite. I really want to help people believe in their truth and following their own precious dreams.
However there will always be posts that are more about how I'm feeling, my other goal here is to figure out how to put my experience into words in a way that helps people. One of my biggest regrets early in my journey is not writing down more of my experience because, ask around, my memory has been trash and now I'm struggling to regain the information that was once so valuable.
But anyway, without further ado, here are some of the nuggets of usefulness I've learned in the last 10 years that have helped me with anxiety.
**The first note I want to make is that different methods work for different people at different stages in their life. What worked for me ten years ago wouldn't work for me today and what works for me today would have been a joke to me ten years ago. (That's why I called it "once so valuable" because it no longer serves me but would be useful to others.)***
- Read self improvement books. They get such a bad reputation, but seriously. We all have things we can work on. We can all level up, we can all be better. Identify your problems and look for books that resonate with you. (A note. One book won't have all the answers. You may find that parts of a book don't line up with how you feel, take the parts that make sense to you and ignore the rest. Much like the information in this post, not everything will work for you.) This is how I got most of my info early on and how I still get new info as I continue on my journey.
- Have patience with yourself. Forgive yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Especially if you are only starting your journey. It's unlikely that you will wake up tomorrow perfectly happy. It will take time and I'm to gonna sugar coat it, the struggle is REAL. But the struggle to maintain mediocrity is so much worse. You're going to miss days, have bad weeks, not want to try. It's ok. There isn't a deadline, there isn't a better grade for finishing sooner. Just keep at it at whatever pace works for you.
- Write it out. You don't have to keep this, just write down how you feel. Maybe even burn it or rip it to pieces after. But get it out. Which leads me to my next tip.
- Scribble, rip up paper, break stuff you don't care about, throw rocks at the ocean, scream. Get the energy out of you. When my gramma passed away I went to the Dollar Tree and got $50 worth of plates and other glass and breakable items (plates are by far the best for this) and we just smashed them. When we moved we had a bunch of old junk in the garage and we just smashed it. My last heartbreak I used my pocket knife to stab and scratch my desk up. Please be safe. I'm not condoning self harm or ruining your good things, but there are options that won't lead to regret. Be smart and safe, but get the energy out.
- Ask yourself "so what?"Force yourself to accept the worst case scenario and ask yourself "so what?" What's the worst that could happen? And then what? Run towards your fear (in your head) and see where it leads. Find the source of your fear. Often you'll realize it was irrational. Nearly all the stories in our head will never come about the way we imagine, but even if it did, so what?
- Practice confidence by doing things that scare you. Make that doctors appointment. Have the hard talk. Travel alone. Take a walk in the dark. Delete the bad memories from your phone. Ask for the raise. Go sky diving. Start the business. Leave the toxic relationship. Give the speech.
- Read Creative Self-Hypnosis by Roger A. Strauss PhD. and do the exercises as instructed. I'm still not really sure how this helped, but it made a HUGE difference for me. I will say maybe don't read this as a beginner, it's a lot to take in and you really have to face yourself. But if you're ready for that and you really want to see change then I say go for it.
- Do breathing exercises, meditate, sit alone with your thoughts. I struggled with this a lot early on in my journey so if you can't do it yet, have patience. Keep giving it a chance. When you're having an anxiety attack or just highly stressed, do a breathing exercise. I'll add some here soon or you can google them, find books, search it on YouTube or download an app for it.
- Listen to 417 Hz frequency on YouTube or Spotify. This would have made me crazy till a few years ago. I would say for beginners maybe just try classical, jazz or something else calm and lacking vocals.
- Pay attention to the media you take in and how it makes you feel. I first noticed this when I started to get anxiety when I was with a friend and she pointed out that it wasn't till I turned on a certain kind of music that I started to feel this way. The media we consume has an impact on how we feel. Enjoy anything you enjoy, this isn't a hard and fast rule and if you love metal or horror movies and that speaks to you great, just be aware of how different media makes you feel. One people often overlook is the news. I literally don't watch the news and in 2021 you don't have to watch it to get the important information anyway.
- Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, trust that feeling. The more you practice trusting your intuition, the stronger it'll be.
- Spend at least some time on your passions. If you don't know what they are spend at least some time trying new things till you figure it out. Life just gets easier when you enjoy what you're doing and it gives you a sense of fulfillment. Work to make this a higher priority over time.
- Write down what you want. Write down your goals. Do those things. But don't beat yourself up if you don't get them all done. Things will happen in the time they are meant to happen.
- If you want to lose weight, count calories, then work to stay at a deficit. To my detriment, I insisted I didn't need to do this. I eat healthy, I thought, why would that one thing matter? After all, 2000 calories of lettuce can't possibly be as bad as 2000 calories of Snickers bars. Right? Obviously the answer here is more complicated than that, but the main point I'd argue that with is it would take you all day to eat 2000 calories of lettuce and you'd be bored and stop. But people eat 2000 calories of candy bars in one sitting, I'm willing to bed daily. I don't care how you want to live your life, if you want to eat candy, go for it. I'm saying if you WANT to lose weight, count calories. I've tried all kinds of work outs and diets, nothing helped and nothing worked faster. And I wasn't even trying to lose weight.
- Alter your life to match the lifestyle that is comfortable to you. This was something I started early. I hated the 9-5 weekday grind. I hated working for others. If you look at my job history I adjusted till I got the lifestyle I wanted. I'm still adjusting but it's definitely more on point. I've made my own sense of structure that is more productive for me and helps me achieve both my personal and professional goals.
- Go for walks. Take the dog, or if you don't have a dog go with a friend or just alone with a podcast or your favorite playlist. We all need to spend more time outside. Find a local park or beach. Start your mornings with a cup of coffee, an audiobook and some fresh air. Spend your lunch break walking the local boardwalk. After dinner, take a stroll with the kids while you digest. Teach them good habits early.
- Change your environment. Go for a road trip. Visit a different city in your area. Dye your hair. Get a tattoo. Move. Spend some time with a friend. Cut bangs. Buy some new clothes. Eat breakfast for dinner. Break up your routine in some way.
As always, if you have any questions, comments or concerns please comment below, email me at email@example.com or message me on any of my social media accounts.
Love, love, and more love.